9 Tips for Interacting With Individuals With Autism
By nazera - July 21, 2020
The word “autism” comes from the Greek autos, meaning “self.” While the long-held, incorrect assumption was that people with autism were unaware of the world around them, we now know that they are capable of withdrawing to a certain degree. The autism shield protects an inner thought life as a safe place for retreat when the world’s bombardment becomes too much to bear.
Many people with autism are very aware of their self-regulating behaviors. They know that their hand-flapping, rocking, or verbal “stims,” as they’re sometimes called, are atypical mannerisms. Some people with autism are very self-conscious about the appearance of these “stereotypies” and prefer that you ignore them as you would if your neurotypical friend were twirling her hair (a socially acceptable self-regulating behavior).
Neurotypical people have made the terrible mistake of believing that people with autism who don’t have reliable speech are incapable of understanding others’ spoken words. Rule of thumb: Presume competence. Never talk about a person; talk to her, or if you must, talk about the individual in a respectful way in her absence.
People with autism often have a frankness that can be both disarming and alarming. Instead of making a facial expression you expect the person with autism to read and respond to, tell the individual, in a matter-of-fact but helpful way, that his choice of words or actions was not appropriate, and guide him to a better expression.
Many individuals with autism feel powerless to control their bodies skillfully. Whether they’re acting on feelings of sensory dysregulation or compulsions, they want you as friends to look past the physical symptoms of their disorder and see the inner person, who wants very much to connect socially.
One of the most hurtful, untrue comments I’ve heard about individuals with autism is “The lights are on, but no one’s home.” The person with autism in your life is as real and whole as you and me. Treat people with autism as the whole beings with hopes, needs, feelings, and desires that they are.
Social skills are lovely to teach, but expecting people with autism to “act” more like neurotypical people will just be that—acting. Part of accepting people with autism is understanding that their different brain wiring affects all of who they are and what they do. Instead of trying to make individuals with autism be people they’re not, help them be the best them they can be.
There is no amount of consequating an autism-driven behavior that will extinguish it—no punishment, no discipline, no reward. Understanding what is driving the behavior will help you and the person with autism cope or come up with adaptations.
We need not look at autism as a terrible disorder with a low ceiling of promise, but as a marvelous opportunity to look at the world through a different lens and walk in different shoes. Be ambitious in your planning with your person with autism and thoughtful about the course you chart together to get there.
https://www.crisisprevention.com/Blog/Tips-for-Interacting-With-People-With-Autism
https://www.crisisprevention.com/Blog/Tips-for-Interacting-With-People-With-Autism
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